First things first: Keep in mind that (so far) all of my query letters have been rejected, so take everything I say with a whole barrel of salt. Of course, I’m hoping that this one won’t be rejected, but just in case it is, if you happen to have any advice or tips for how to improve it, please feel free to leave a comment. I’m always looking for ways to improve all my writing, including query letters.
Last year, around this time, I was receiving rejection letters. I had spent hours researching literary agents, making sure they were accepting submissions, checking to see if they were interested in the genre of my manuscript, googling them to learn everything I could about them. I wrote one fantastic query letter, and then made changes to it as I queried each individual agent (the plot summary stayed the same, but other things changed, like “Dear John” became “Dear Sue” and “I’m querying you because…”). I paid the most careful attention to every submission guideline. If they only accepted post mail, I sent it the old fashioned way, and included the self-addressed stamped envelope. If email was okay, I submitted digitally. If they wanted a synopsis, that was all I sent them. If they wanted the first three chapters, that was the only thing that went. I queried less than 20 agents. And heard back from half of them. I received nothing but rejections, of various kinds. Most were form emails. One was a small square slip of pink paper tucked into my SASE. One was a personal letter written by the agent who said my writing had good points but that they weren’t ready to take it on for one reason and another. That letter gave me hope.
This year, I queried one agent. I met her at a conference, and she requested the submission. Which cut down a lot of my work load. And cut my query letter in half. Instead of spending an entire paragraph on introducing myself and another paragraph on why I was querying her, I wrote this:
It was a pleasure meeting you at the American Independent Writers conference in May 2010. I enjoyed discussing my supernatural urban fantasy manuscript with you, even though it was not fully polished at that time. Since we met, what I thought was polishing turned into full-blown editing, based on the advice I received from a writing group I had recently joined. This is why it has taken so many months to prepare the submission you requested.
Then I wrote a plot summary:
In a world similar to our own, Kyla Jones is a religious 17-year-old who has just graduated High School and is preparing to go to college. The night before she leaves home a powerful servant of The Goddess visits her and tells her that she has an important role to play. Kyla is given a sword that vanishes when it is not needed and is the only weapon capable of rescuing the Goddess’ servants from the power of The Paenitet. Before the first semester is over, Kyla will discover that in order to save the servants of the Goddess, she must defeat them, and in order to defeat The Paenitet once and for all, she is going to have to save him, too, whether he likes it or not and whether she wants to or not.
And then I closed up:
Complete at 99,000 words, Lumen tells a story about a teen becoming a young woman amidst a battle between good and evil that shakes the foundations of her own faith and complicates every relationship she has.
I have attached the first three chapters and look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
(contact information went here)
I’ve already done a post on how to write a query letter, which was called Ten Tips for Query and Cover Letters , in which I talked a lot about the basic (and some of the finer) points of composing a query letter or cover letter based on research I had done using the internet (I still say queryshark is the best thing to read if you’re looking for query advice). In the few weeks since I sent this query letter, I have been panicking like no other. Some of my reasons are almost valid, but most of them are ridiculous:
- Should I have said it was a “complete” manuscript, or does that make it sound like I’m assuming it’s perfect and it won’t need anymore work (because the agent will always have suggestions for how to make it even better and they want to know that you’re open to that)? On the other hand, I did say in the beginning that I had taken advice from a writing group, so why wouldn’t I take advice from a literary agent? Still…will the word “complete” be a point against me?
- I forgot to include a link to my blog in the contact info? I forgot to include a link to my blog in the contact info! I forgot to include a link to my blog in the contact info.
- Are the first three chapters good enough? Will the agent be hooked? Is the rest of the manuscript good enough? Dare I go back through it and read/edit it – AGAIN?
- Should I have sat on the query letter for a week and spent more time on it or would I never have sent it if I had sat on it?
- Should I have made the summary shorter?
- Should I have made the summary more explicit, even if that means making it longer?
- What if 99,000 words is too long and the agent will reject it out of hand because of the length?
- What if my email gets lost in the slush pile??????
- What if my manuscript is not ready to be published?
- What if I get rejected (again)?
I keep reminding myself to take a deep breath and relax, because the reality is this: either the full manuscript will be requested, or it won’t. Either way, the world will not stop turning. If it’s rejected, it means that I need to spend some more time on it, after I take some time away from it first. If more is requested, then I get to bite my nails some more until the final verdict comes out. In any case, I will still be a Latin teacher and, as always, a Hopeful Writer.